I fell in love with clarity; I’d found the habitual muddy numbness tedious. So as a response to family and friends who had real addiction trouble, I just wound down and stopped. The shine went off that pumpkin, eh? My sobriety: Unplanned.
That was 17 years ago (mid-summer of ’09.) Since then, I wound up spending a lot of time to helping others, particularly in prisons and jails. At least until covid.
Today as an ‘elder’, I know that we NEED the social lubricant – culturally we depend on alcohol. And that really is okay. And privately many depend on a drink as a foil to life’s difficulty – taking a drink to decompress ones angst is excellent self care.
Personally, I revel in the clarity of mind and growing distance from my compulsion to conform. I’ve no grief over not ‘enjoying’ the numbness or avoiding my thoughts. I’m less likely to create artificial circumstances to enable the postponement of feelings.
Instead? Being awake to experience angst in the moment – as gruelling as it can be? Is priceless. There is no educational substitute. And then to spiritually prevail , to exist in genuine peace is very fulfilling. As bare as the comfort may be, it’s sufficient and satisfying if I let it be so. No drink needed. But to be on the dry is to be over an edge, it’s not for everyone!
Narrow Way Cafe 