Narrow Way Cafe

Corrosive Confrontationalism? Abused by Church discipline? Coercion and hate have no place.

Dear Elders,

After our call last evening, I realized that your perception of our Faith may be based on some expectations. Can we slow things down a little? Categories matter.

Evangelical memories are among the very first that I can muster. Out of guilt and fear I must have dashed to the altar a hundred times before I was 10. What the Spirit spoke to me then is indelible. Through some wandering years, I experienced the Lord’s, steadfast love. Fast forward down the decades until now. But let’s avoid reciting personal history. What can I record that is helpful?

In our discussion, we visited the human condition a little. Specifically the idea that if one desires fitness, hanging out with fit people makes sense. The same applies to sobriety, etc. Does it apply to Fellowship? We comfort others with the comfort we have received. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

There is so much of a lifelong Church experience that isn’t outwardly apparent. Some scars are invisible, covered by grace. Overcoming creates space for empathy and compassion. Trauma becomes wisdom and JOY – once the pain has been accepted as instruction. This may sound ominous, but it’s not. You see: Pain is inevitable. But suffering is optional.

We were reluctant when offered church membership in the past. I would be dishonest if it wasn’t clear that the disinclination remains. And this is no particular criticism of your Church! If the constraints we serve under confine us to gleaning in the corners of the Lord’s fields? AMEN. 

The ministry that I was called to (prisoners) has been suspended. Perhaps it’s morphing. The current, urgent plea I sense is for widows, orphans, and strangers of the Church. Some in the category could be called “Exvangelicals.” A question is: Who’s pursuing ‘lost’ ones that comfortable believers ignore out of convenience? Our experience is, nobody. This breaks my heart.

In 2020 when I eliminated 650 toxic, contentious Facebook ‘church’ friends en masse … Your pastor was the only one to circle back and ask what happened. Not that Mike is toxic or contentious! I unfriended all church contacts. I realized that on the whole, there was no actual context for meaningful discussion. Hostility ruled. Perhaps this remains true. I know I’m not seeking to find out.

It would be impossible for anyone who hasn’t experienced it, to understand what the Pastor’s follow-up meant to us. Politics and Covid are only two of the most recent symptoms of confrontational religion injecting itself into temporal issues. This error has steadily metastasized since the Moral Majority emerged in the 80s. Various temporal litmus tests have been doctrinalized. These are applied both overtly and covertly. They govern who’s in and who’s out.

We are not in conflict with institutions and denominations. The battle is supernatural. The desire burns to live as Christ did, by the Spirit. Lack of congregational membership doesn’t mean one abandoned Christ. It means in our case that we can no longer condone Doctrines of Men driving congregational behavior. Attendance telegraphs complicity and agreement. And so our place is outside.

I used to loathe visiting Walmart to shop. But since praying with prisoners, each visit is an adventure. Who might I see? The one who dashes up and hangs his arms around my neck with the joy of the Lord and a wholesome report brings tears to my eyes. And the one who averts their attention away from my gaze, whom I approach to embrace despite obvious ongoing failure? It is their tears flowing that expose the struggle in a true heart. In those moments of loving connection, the unspoken message of the Gospel rings out crystal clear. It is by the power of attraction. Coercion and hate have no place.

What’s next? The commandment I received was “Just Witness.” That encompasses speaking, music, and silent hugs. I have also tried to fulfill that mission by composing this letter. If there is a message, if these remarks are important, I give God the Glory.

Remaining unencumbered by oaths and memberships, positions and authority insulate me from ambition, ego, and pride. Resting in Poverty of Spirit, brokenness, meekness, thirst… prepares us with pure hearts to serve. The rest is up to him.

God bless your ministry. And God bless your Church. May peace rest upon us.